McDonalds Announces the Giga Big Mac

It seems like every week we’re seeing McDonalds make some kind of desperation move to save their plummeting stock value. Whether it be the fast food giant trying to make the inside of their restaurants look classier, giving us Breakfast all day, or releasing trendy anime commercials, Micky-D’s just can’t seem to get a grip on what will make the public wants from them. So naturally, they’re going back to their greasy, cholesterol-clogged roots by releasing a brand new spin on their staple sandwich. Introducing, the Giga Big Mac of Japan. The brand new sandwich is just like it’s smaller predecessor, The Big Mac, except the Giga version features two additional beef patties (bringing the total to 4) and is also noticeably wider as well. Anyone YOLO enough to finish this beast “will feel a satisfied sense of accomplishment” according to McDonalds in a press release. However, in a short statement to TIME Magazine, a McDonalds spokesperson claimed that the massive burger “is meant to be shared”, making us reach the conclusion that McDonalds is just trying to cover its tracks with some good old-fashioned double talk. How do you feel about this big new move by McDonalds, and how long do you think until we see this Godzilla of a sandwich reach the shores of the United States?