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The Blob & Godzilla Further Prove Global Warming

Jan 16, 2016

Sorry global warming naysayers, with the West Coast becoming the Sahara, the South East pretty much losing the winter season, and the Midwest turning into Hoth from Star Wars, we think we can pretty much determine that all of our SUV’s are beginning to have an impact on the environment. Turns out, El Nino is so pre-global warming, there’s a new meteorological phenomenon in town. Actually, there’s two, Blob and Godzilla. These large masses of abnormal precipitation and warm air could spell disastrous effects in ways we’re not thinking of due to our preoccupation with Tinder & Pinterest.

Due to these new, massive formations, warm water will move across the Pacific prematurely this year, leading to the disruption of delicate ecosystems. A$AP Rocky and other pescatarians will have to look out, some researchers predict that toxic algae could potentially grow in common Pacific Ocean fishing areas for the first time, ultimately making its way to your dinner plate. And no high influx has been spotted yet, but warmer water across the Pacific, could also spell more and more sharks coming to shore (“Sharknado” in real life, anyone?). If Al Gore was right on this inconvenient truth called global warming, who knows when ManBearPig is going to come out of hiding and start messing everybody’s day up?